The Costs Of Not Speaking Up
How many of us women silence ourselves? In the name of peace, because we learned as children to be "good girls" or because we have given up speaking out because we were met too many times with disregard.
But this silence comes with a cost ...
It shows up in resentment that builds over time and that makes us bitchy, frustrated, and easily irritated. It shows up in stiff shoulders and tight necks. It shows up in skin outbreaks and hives.
It shows up in thyroid issues and sleepless nights.
Even though we silenced our voice, our body didn't forget. Self-abandonment always comes at a cost. When our feelings, thoughts, needs and boundaries are not expressed we burn out emotionally, we grow resentment and loose our identity.
Where do we go from here?
The first question is always. Why? Why am i not speaking my truth?
Am I scared of abandonment?
Am I conditioned to be a good girl?
Do I not feel safe enough to speak up?
Do I not trust myself?
The next question is: Can I rebuild a relationship to myself? Can I create within me the environment to feel comfortable to express my feelings, thoughts, needs and boundaries?
Safety actually places a much bigger role than we think in this. Not safety in others, but safety in ourselves:
The safety that my expression doesn't need to be perfect and I don't care what others think.
The safety that my feelings and needs are important and valuable.
The safety to know i'm fine even if me speaking up leads to loosing people.
The safety to trust my own voice.
The safety in myself to be able to walk away when my spoken needs and boundaries are disregarded.
There are many ways to create this safety and reconnection to ourselves. One way is to start by developing a relationship again to our body and understanding how our body reacts when we silence ourselves.
I'm going deeper into this in my latest podcast.
If you want to explore more ways to connect to your body, voice and find the safety to express yourself more freely, I invite you into my new course "Woman who sing themselves home". The course starts 7 October. You can read more below.
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