My Child Won’t Sleep! Natural Remedies for Children’s Sleep Problems, Night Fears & Night Terrors

Bedtime and nighttime can be a really difficult moment for both parents and children. I remember spending hours getting my children to sleep and helping them to stay asleep.

From sleep training (my heart couldn't to it), to bed-sharing (great but at some point I want my own bed back), I've tried it all and through the years my intuition, gentle approaches and Chinese medicine knowledge worked best. Here I am sharing what I learned on this journey of helping my kids to sleep well.

Sleeping problems are varied and today in this post I want to address specifically also fearful children and waking up from nightmares.

From a Chinese medicine perspective, the following meridian systems in our body and their respective spirit are in charge of a good night’s sleep:

• the heart and Shen: needs calmness to move into sleep

• the liver and its spririt the Hun: are in charge of our actual dream experience and if we have calm or upsetting dreams.

• the kidneys: deal with fears

• the spleen: in charge of digestion which can disturb sleep

  
  

In order to help those meridian to facilitate a good sleep, simply lifestyle adjustments actual work best.

You can’t train or force someone to sleep well but you can create the conditions for a child’s body to be prepared for good sleep.

Diet

• Finish dinner 2-3 hours before bed If the body is still digesting at bed time, it disturbs sleep. Have lighter and earlier dinner for your child if they often have night terrors.

• Strengthen the digestive system with warm, cooked, nutritious and easy to digest foods

• Foods to avoid or limit: sugars (and sugary drinks) in general, very spicy food, sweets near bedtime, heavy, greasy dinners, large portions within 2 hours of sleep

• Foods that help to prevent scary dreams (because they calm down heat in the body): apples, pear, hawthorn, mung bean, radish,

• for breastfeeding moms: avoid spicy, greasy, and fried foods, as well as coffee and alcohol

Lifestyle

• A consistent bedtime, even on weekends If a child misses naps or goes overtired to bed it can fall into a very deep sleep in which the Shen spirit of the heart surfaces in a confused way which shows up as night terrors. Consistent, adequate rest is important to prevent scary dreams.

• Rest after illness Sometimes a child gets night terrors if it seemed better after an illness but hasn’t fully recovered yet. More rest will help here.

• Keep the evening quiet and low-stimulation Shen gets stirred up by bright screens, scary stories and exciting games in the last hour before bed. A quiet, wind-down time is crucial for a child who is prone to night terrors

• Screens off an hour before sleep

• Keep the bedroom cool at 18-20 degree

• Adequate physical activity during the day Kids have lots of energy and that energy needs to get out so they can actually sleep well at night. Right before bedtime, a calm evening walk is better though than rough play.

• A warm bath or footbath: a warm bath before bed can help the body to relax. A footbath is especially good if you want the energy of your child to calm down and move downwards from the head to the feet.

• Family ritual for bedtime: the same calm daily ritual signals the child it’s time to sleep and it’s also a great way to bond, these can be a massage for a baby, reading together, playing a board game, telling stories, speaking about the day etc

Creating Safety

• Children are very sensitive and receptive. A safe environment to sleep in is important for them. Safety can easily be created by bed forts, bed curtains, night-lights, comfy cushions, stuffed toys, blankets, something that smells of the parents (t-shirt) etc.

• If you and your child are open to it you can also teach them about energetic protection such as guardian spirits/angels/ancestors and how to create energetic safety bubbles around them, their bed and their room

• Clear, reassuring bedtime rules: routines help children, knowing when you are there and wind down with them and when they are supposed to sleep,

• Emotional check-in: talking with children about their day can relieve worries that might keep them awake, investing in your relationship with them, having a “safe” parent to talk to, feeling emotionally heard and seen

• Bed-sharing: I know this is a controversial topic and personal choice but if you are open to it, bed-sharing specifically when breastfeeding creates safety in a child, helps them to sleep for most of the night and helps everyone in the family to get enough sleep. We shared for years a family bed, our children moved out naturally when they were ready to their own bed and room.

Acupressure & Massage

When I had babies, I would massage them before bedtime and it was an amazing way to bond and to also help their body to relax for sleep. Even now with my nearly teenagers I sometimes do Shonishin on them before bedtime.

Here are a couple of points you can massage or hold (for 1 minute) on your baby and child to help with sleep:

Bubbling Spring (Kidney 1):

• in the depression on the bottom of the foot

• relaxes the body and calms the mind

Yintang:

• located in between the eyebrows, at the center of the forehead , third eye

• calms the mind

• You can stroke downwards on this point.

An Mian - Peaceful Sleep

• behind the ear (bony bump behind your child’s ear (mastoid bone), slightly above the back angle of the jaw

• helps to calm down and fall asleep

Shen Men (Heart 7)

• on the wrist crease, in line with the little finger, at pinky-side of wrist

• helps with emotional upsets, worries about school, sadness, irritability

Tai Chong (Liver 3)

• on the top of the foot, between the big toe and second toe

• helps with irritability, angry kids and kids who tantrum often and hold body tension

CV 12 Body Pillar

• located in the center of the upper back, below the third thoracic vertebrae, the seventh vertebrae down from the base of the neck

• helps calm your child before bed

I hope this helps and all of you are getting better sleep. My most important tip for moms is to prioritise your own sleep. Nap with your kids, go early to bed and remember its a phase of life.

If you want personal support with your children's fears and their sleeping problems, you can also book a needle-free Shonishin, Japanese acupuncture treatment, for your baby or child with me in Amsterdam.

Children's Treatments

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